Nobody really wants to have low self esteem, it is a very unpleasant situation to be in. Most people who have low self esteem are painfully aware of it and would like nothing more than to get themselves out of this situation. Yet, a lot of people who I come in contact with don’t seem to realise how many areas of their life are adversely affected by low self esteem. In my opinion low self esteem is incredibly pervasive and it affects everything we do and experience in life.

Most people have some idea or awareness where their low self esteem originated. Often they carry a lot of anger and resentment towards the people (usually parents or teachers) who they think caused them to be the way they are.  Carrying anger and resentment is unhealthy and stops you from moving forward, no matter how justified this anger seems. It is your responsibility to fix the problem, to “break the cycle”, so your children don’t end up with the same problems.

Low self esteem starts in babyhood, as soon as a parent frowns at the baby or raises his/her voice, the baby’s sense of “self” gets threatened and the feeling of “not being good enough” starts to embed itself. These are pre verbal memories and this is why they are very difficult to deal with. As time progresses we get exposed to more self esteem damaging people and slowly we start to believe that we are not good enough, that our opinion is not worthwhile, that we will never amount to anything much…..

So, how does low self esteem affect us, often in ways we don’t even realise? It has been linked to:

• depression and general unhappiness
• violent behaviour
• anger
• poor academic performance
• choosing the wrong career
• poor career progression
• getting “mixed up” with the “wrong crowd” because of peer pressure
• drug and alcohol abuse
• having a succession of bad relationships
• feeling socially awkward or inadequate

I think that our self esteem is one the most crucial factors affecting our whole life. It is absolutely important to build good, healthy esteem to have a happy and fulfilled life.

Dr Joe Rubino (author of the Self Esteem Book) is currently offering a Free mp3 audio: 7 Steps to Soaring Self-Esteem – an excellent way to improve and maintain your own Self Esteem.

Till next time,

Connie and Charly