What percentage in a class of 30 students would agree that Mathematics is a great subject? You might answer “around 10 to 35″.  Most kids today are not thrilled to solve Mathematical equations – not because they do not know the processes involved, but because they lack interest in it.

In a similar way, our daily activities do not mean 100% joy and 0% problems. At times, we have more problems than joy. Some individuals are very skilled in handling their problems. Do you want to know their secrets?

Well, carefree people, as some might call them, have one thing in common: optimism. This doesn’t mean that these people never had any problems. Try remembering somebody from university, a colleague, a relative, a friend, or someone from your community who has the brightest smile, who just seems to be so happy all the time. How many times did you see that person frown? Carefree, happy people are fun to be with because their attitude is contagious. Have you tried asking them how they manage to be so happy? Below are some of their secrets:

1. Learn to control your feelings and your negative self talk. Learn to separate feelings from thoughts. Feelings are “mad, sad, glad, bad” and thoughts are just that, thoughts. Beware – thoughts have the potential to create all sorts of feelings – good and bad.

How does this work? You might think of a problem, then you start thinking how difficult it is and that thought triggers a feeling of fear, sadness or anger…. this happens within a split second. Suddenly you are overcome with that unpleasant feeling and it stops you from moving forward. More bad feelings and thoughts are flooding your brain.

When this happens, say to yourself: “Stop” – I don’t have to feel this way any longer. I can choose how I feel. This is the first step in solving problems. Only after you have the ability to reign in your thoughts and clear your mind from negative and unnecessary thoughts efficiently and quickly you are able to move on.

2. Treat each problem as a challenge and an opportunity for self-improvement.

3. Free yourself from that scapegoating, blaming attitude. Are you pointing your finger or blaming others for your mishaps? Take responsibility for your mistakes. No one is perfect, learn to forgive yourself and others. We are all human and we all make mistakes.

4. Use a pen and paper, and rate the severity of the problem and list all possible answers to your problem. At this stage nothing is too far fetched, let your mind run free – a surprising solution might come up.

5. Keep a journal and treat it as a “secret friend” who is always willing to listen to your grievances. Write your feelings freely. Also write about your successes and give yourself credit for what you have achieved.

6. Develop a hobby, for this will help you lessen or minimize stress in your life.

7. Take time off from work and create some excitement in your life, get out of your routine. Relax and check out the best movies in town. Travel and meet new wonderful people. Do regular meditation, relaxation, yoga or tai chi. It will take some time for the benefits to show, just persevere, you will feel a lot calmer.

The above tips will help you to develop a more positive outlook on life and make you more resilient to stress. Problems won’t seem so huge and unsurmountable.

Consider that everybody experiences problems and adversity many times, but problems are problems. They are not there to annoy you; they are not beings that are out there to “get” you. Start solving the problem by following the above 7 steps.

In case this doesn’t get you anywhere – ask for help and advice. You are not the only person with these problems, somebody out there has experienced the same things and will be able to guide you. They might point out something that you were unable to see because you are too close to the issue or are too emotional about it.

We hope that the above is helpful.

Till next time,

Connie and Charly

from

http://www.stretchyourmindandbody.com